Adoption Critique

(For those who have been touched by adoption (with a blow-torch), this story is pretty self-evident. For those with no experience or connection to adoption: this is an allegory about adoption, and mothers being convinced by agency workers that if they really loved their babies, they’d surrender them, that adoption is “the loving option,” and how it just does not make sense.)

Andy and Marcie: A Story

Andy met Marcie one afternoon over at Jim’s place. Jim had hosted a barbeque for his friends, and Marcie was the best friend of Jim’s sister Carla. Andy and Marcie immediately hit it off. Both were shy at first, and the conversation stumbled at times, but they laughed and joked together and felt comfortable in one another’s presence. They soon found that they had lots in common. They both loved the same sports (kayaking and hiking), going to hear the local symphony (both were season subscribers), and hated sushi.

After Jim’s party, it was a couple of weeks before either got the nerve to phone the other one up. It was actually Marcie who did, inviting Andy out to the symphony with her that Saturday — there was a special guest conductor in from Chicago. The evening went perfectly, and they went out for chocolate cake and coffee afterwards at the Mocha House Cafe, laughing and talking.

One date led to another, and soon both Andy and Marcie knew that they had never felt so close to another person, so comfortable, so “right.” They both accepted each other’s “faults” with good humour, had lots of fun together with family and friends, and found that not only was there romance but both became good friends. It wasn’t long until they moved in together and discussed commitment.

All seemed very natural, and all their friends were delighted for them. Everyone figured that Andy and Marcie were the perfect pair and would soon get married. In fact, Carla began to drop hints to her friend about being her maid of honour.

Nine months into their relationship though, after many days of joy together, Andy dropped a bombshell. With tears in his eyes, he told Marcie the news. He loved her so much that he had to leave her and he was moving out. Her faced turned white with shock, and she sat down on their couch in total numbness. This was not at all what she was expecting. When through her wracking sobs she asked him why, why she was losing the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with” He replied with a choking voice that he was not good enough for her and the best thing he could do, the “loving option,” was to allow her to go to another man. No matter what she asked, that is what it came down to: “I am doing this out of love for you.”

As Andy walked out with his suitcase, he told Marcie the name of an intermediary who would pass on messages to him from her. He said that he still loved her and always would. But, he was firm that his counsellor said he had to “move on with his life” and “act like he had never met her.”

Marcie sat back. Did it make sense to love someone so much you had to leave them? When you could have spent your life together and everything was going so well? It was obvious to her: Andy did not love her at all, and this was just an excuse. Unloved, unwanted, she sat back in the apartment that felt so empty, and she cried.

Copyright 2008.  Contact the author for permission to reprint.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 15th, 2008 at 2:25 am and is filed under adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.